It's been a couple weeks since I wrote anything here. Don't feel bad, though, it's been three months since I wrote anything for VMM.
I'm not ignoring anyone, I'm just amazingly busy of late, and there are other things on my mind. The racing season, on paper, is almost four months away. You may see that as a third of a year, but I see it as holy-shit-that's-tomorrow. I've been hard at work helping to build a new company at one track, keeping another track in the news, helping some racers get a few sponsorship bucks on the side, and trying to help the new VMM management without being a nuisance, all pretty much non-stop since October.
I'm effin' psyched for everything to start in late April/early May, but at the same time, I could use six more months to prepare and probably still want more time. Our momentum is rolling, and that's a great thing, but there are also a ton of loose ends to tie up before the first race. A TON.
Either way, I feel like I'm really helping to make a difference this year. I feel like what I'm helping to build from the ground up is going to mean something to people and make them happy. I feel that way because I've already seen some of it. It's very, very rewarding.
I've stopped to smell the roses (and occasionally Rose) a few times, even if only for a couple of hours. I've taken in a few UVM basketball and hockey games, went to a show with Rose a few weeks ago, and we're headed to another one on Friday, but it seems like it's all been between breaths. We're also looking for a new apartment in the Vergennes/Middlebury area so that I'm a bit closer to work but that she's not a billion miles from school and her own jobs, and that has taken some time up, too.
By the way, it's clear that things in my current apartment are deteriorating in a hurry, which makes me want to spend even less time there than I already do (and at an average of 1-3 nights per week, that ain't much, Ted). There's a steadily-building pressure cooker of resentment and anger among us roomies, which I've totally seen coming since, well, the beginning. I'm a pretty easy-going dude. I was fine, and I didn't have a problem with anyone that I was aware of until today, and it seems to be the latest in a months-long line of problems within those walls. "The lease is up in May," I keep reminding myself, but still, it kinda blows feeling like none of us will be able to be friends after the end of our lease, if we're even still friends at this point now. It seems so forced lately a great deal of the time, and that's a shame. I feel like it's affecting my other friends' opinions of me, too, and that's simply because I'm not around enough to see them on a regular basis and let them know that I'm not as big an asshole as the picture that may or may not have been painted of me might suggest. Seems I don't get invited to much anymore. Maybe it's out-of-sight-out-of-mind with them since I'm not around a lot, and I hope that's all it is, but I have a feeling that there may be outside influence at work, and I don't care for that too much.
As negative and nasty as that all sounds, I assure you that it's not something that consumes me on a daily basis. Do I miss my friends? Of course. But there is so much more in my life that is positive right now that I don't care enough to dwell on the negativity. I did that for far too long. In fact I spent more time writing all that out just now than I've spent thinking about it.
One of the constants I can depend on, as always, is music. I've been listening a lot lately and taking an interest in stuff that's new to me that I may not have ever found if I hadn't gone looking for it. It's not necessarily weird or "different" as much as it is unfamiliar. I love the thrill of discovering new music, or of discovering highlights in familiar songs that had escaped me.
But now know this: I love my job, but I hear an unacceptable amount of country music at the office. It has only reaffirmed by belief that I don't like country music not because I wasn't willing to give it a shot, but rather because the genre, as a whole, gargles my balls. At least the majority of the last 10-15 years' worth of work, anyway. The number of half-assed, pop-laced, strictly-for-record-selling, franchise-building, vomit-inducing "country" songs that are being churned out of Opryland these days just blows me the fuck away. The number of shitsack rock or pop songs (almost none of which were good to begin with) covered by country artists these days is goddamn astounding. And, of course, America fucking loves it. Apparently, though, the record companies and radio stations are beginning to notice that their product sucks, and rather than playing the songs written for country radio, they're just saying "Ah, fuck it," and playing the actual pop songs themselves, as originally recorded. But then, of course, the retarded mother fuckers over at the pop stations are scooping up Toby Keith and Taylor Swift and whatever the fuck band did that "Life Is A Highway" remake a few years ago like they're the next MJ or Britney or fucking Led Goddamn Zeppelin. Mumford & Sons, you assholes, are not a country band. They're folk-pop at best. The Pixies didn't write country songs, and something tells me that the band that covered "Where Is My Mind?" might agree. And the first sonofabitch who tries to tell me with a straight face how the christ Adele ended up on country stations is getting a right hook to the goddamn jaw. I can't stand her bullshit on regular pop stations, and I sure as hell don't want to hear it on country stations. Fuck.
I'm not even sure where this rant is going. All I know is that I'm right. And I'm tired.
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